13 March 2008

Sun Beams and Thunderstorms

I'm sitting in the student union now drinking a cup of cappuccino and working up the energy to begin work on my thesis, but I really don't feel like it. I wish Brooke or Chase would come join me ^_^ I went to BSF yesterday after missing last week because of the now and the week before because I was going crazy. It was much needed, and I feel refocused and centered. I can be such a selfish creature during test weeks. If I could just think about God 24/7 I'd be so much happier. Apathy has permeated this entire semester, but I'm going to turn that around. I don't feel very Katie-ish. Isn't it strange that when you focus on God you know yourself better. Or at least that's how I feel. I don't feel like myself when I'm not square with God. Anyway, I have about 3 weeks worth of BSF lessons to do now! I started with the earliest notes. Since discussion group won't cover them, I'll just have to talk now. A couple of statements stood out to me in particular.
You sin against God when you refuse to tell your fellow Christian what has offended or wounded you, and you sin against that person.
I'm certainly guilty of that! Life would be so much easier if we could respectfully and gently tell others when they do something to upset us instead of letting anger and negativity fester inside...or gossiping about it to others. I know relationships in the past have suffered because I lacked the courage to voice my feelings until they exploded. :( I'm sorry if I've done this to you...

When the Cross means nothing to you because you are blind and indifferent to your inner and outer sins against God, other people's offenses against you seem great.
With great ease, I can forget what it means to be forgiven and redeemed. When this happens, minor annoyances seem like personal affronts, and my feelings get hurt over such silly matters. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Well, those are my thoughts.

In other news, I think I'm finished with the lab work on my thesis! I caught myself messing up while setting up my sequencing reaction... I had to repeat about six samples, and I and ran out of DNA. Hopefully the sequencing will still work ^_^ I really don't feel like doing another PCR! Now I just have to write my lit review...yeesh.

In other news, I brought my grade up in Cell Bio. I still didn't quite make an A, but a B is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. I don't need that class for vet school or for graduation... that must mean I'm simply a glutton for punishment. Speaking of vet school the final tally is in!

CSU- rejected
KSU - Alternate list
Mizzou - Accepted + contract
MSU - withdrew my application
LSU - Accepted + contract
OSU - alternate list

So 2/6. Lol I'm just so relieved I made it in at all! How funny is it that the 2 schools I was accepted also offered me contracts, but no other schools even accepted me! Lol, I'm actually relieved I didn't get accepted to many...it makes my path pretty clear. I loved Missouri and I can't wait to go there. After my interview, it rose to my top choice...and I guess they liked me too! I've mailed in my acceptance form and prepayment, and I'm not anxiously awaiting confirmation they received it. I'm so excited to be accepted there! I really felt like it was a good "fit" for me. I suppose it's where I'm meant to be. God made my path clear.

In other news, I've felt inexplicably anxious the last 2 days. So many changes are approaching. I'll be moving farther away than I've ever been from my family and friends. I was happy to leave NLR for Fayetteville and make new friends...a fresh start. But I'm not really ready this time. My baby brother will be heading up to Fayetteville. I'm so proud of him and almost jealous he'll be here without me. I've made so many wonderful friends here...and most of them will be here next year. I don't want a roommate next year and I'm nervous about that too. I think I'm ready to live by myself. I've never had the opportunity to arrange my house just the way I want it and I'll be glad for the chance. My kitchen is going to be Florida themed...green and turquoise dishes, blue casserole dishes, decorative fish wall hangings... I've also ordered an 8x10 of the family photo on the beach as well as smaller prints of the pic of George and me and another of mom and dad. Maybe I'l finsh the painting of mom and George on the beach over the summer too! As for my sitting area...i don't know what I'm going to do with it. My bead room will stay red and white... and my bathroom will maintain its girly pinks and purples.

Well studying is unavoidable now...no more stalling! End of book... Peace and love to all! <3

1 comment:

Chase said...

Don't forget that you'll be leaving your smokin' hot boyfriend, too. hahaha Anyway, I'm not ready for you to leave either, but I know it's for the best. I think it -is- Providential that you would get only 2 contracts and that one of them happened to be the most difficult to get AND your favorite visit. Just kinda makes me think it was on purpose...