17 October 2005

Whine and Dine

Aaaah…. ;_;  my neck hurts… whiny…whiny…whiny….

Why does my social life have to be so cyclic?  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!  I’m at the low point again... Thank you Lord for Myranda!  If we were to get in a reallllly serious fight, it would kill me not to have her friendship.  I want to fit in with my other friends, but I simply cannot!  I don’t enjoy the same games, the same movies, etc etc.  I refuse to wear a cat woman costume and skip class to run around campus... My definition of “party” remains the same as it was in kindergarten minus the setting frogs loose in Aunt Betty’s house:  pizza, movies, and card games.  So that completely eliminates most college parties except for maybe SFL parties.  Hehe… they can’t even show a movie rated pg-13.  But then, I don’t really fit in with them either.  My blob of friends makes fun of me for joining it, but I have to have some sort of social contact.  Regardless, I met Marlys through SFL, and we go do something or at least sit and talk once a week.  So I’m grateful for that.  

I guess it might seem a bit odd, but I’ve really reflected on friendships today.  The reason Myranda and I are so close is because we see each other every day in addition to having similar values and beliefs.  We really don’t have that much in common.  I love the outdoors and getting dirty.  Her passion is music.  We’re wired completely different, and we don’t always agree.  But we care about each other enough to look past and work through our disagreements.  We have tons of good memories together (like belting out Little Mermaid songs and putting plastic animals on all people’s doors).  Friendships take work to maintain and develop.  It’s unrealistic for me to expect people to always remember to include me.  But it’s also unpleasant to be the only one striving to maintain relationships and initiating activities.  If I reach out to people and make an effort to get to know them, chances are they will respond positively.   In my efforts to expand my circle (aka blob) of friends (which is a bit lop-sided and deflated at the moment – hence “blob”) I need to remember to make an effort.  Other people want attention just like I do.  The change in dynamics of the group struck me hard, but change is inevitable.  Life is anything but static.  I’m hopeful for the future and excited to form new relationships and deepen the old ones!   I heart Annie, Meredith, and Myranda!!!  (heh…  thinking about my blessings really took care of the whiny attitude…that and the Little Mermaid Soundtrack).  

A little more whining and I’ll be finished…

Another issue plaguing my thoughts is of course specifically relationships with guys.  I’m frustrated.  “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field:  Do no arouse or awaken love until it so desires” – Song of Solomon 3:5.  Patience…patience…patience.  God’s timing is perfect, but I wish He’d hurry up!  I read on guy friends’ blogs about how they wish to advance relationships… too bad miscommunication prevents that.  

Sha la la la la la!!!!!!!!!My oh my!Look like the boy too shyAin't gonna kiss the girl!!!!!!!!!!!Sha la la la la laAin't that sad?Ain't it a shame?Too bad, he gonna miss the girl


mrb said...

I want a boy too...maybe it's time to get the club and drag one home...hehehe ;) Know that you aren't alone, my friendships (and other kinda relationships) are exactly the same way. Here's to change...and bear-monkey freak heads! Wahoo. I love you forever.

Anonymous said...

glrp. hang out with me! 'cause, y'know, i'm a big fan o' movies and pizza and card games, and i'm even up for setting the froggies free!